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The Road Before & After Surgery
September 22, 2017
Silly~Sassy~Selfie...Because I Love Myself~Saturday! ;)
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Day 2818-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Why not have a silly~sassy~selfie....Because I love myself~Saturday!Hahahahaha! Come on! Who can really take themselves seriously when striking a pose for a selfie?! BAH~Hahahahaha! Yep...today was finally a good day for me!

Can you also believe that we braved the great outdoors today? A little daily exercise while walking the river trails at a hot-as-hell...94 degrees!

Crazy? YOU BET! More like...SWEAT!

HA!

Thank goodness Eric finally has his rotating weekend off from the county! We are down to finishing up the last two rooms before taking a long awaited break from projects inside the house. Hopefully if Mother Nature plays it cool by next week...we should be celebrating more fall-like weather! Time to take the next round of house flipping projects outdoors for a change. Hopefully as well we can breathe in some brisk, cool air....ahhhhhh...much welcomed! Snoreo has been a champ walking the trails in this heat. Thankfully most of the trails are shaded with hundreds of trees. We also bring cool rags, bottled water and a small bowl for Snoreo to enjoy in order to keep him cool. Actually...make that for ALL of us to stay cool while walking the trails! Exercise is not only good for the heart. But good for the soul! I would go nuts or most likely be dead if I sat around 24/7. That includes a very strict diet that I have also proudly stuck to over the years. There are always going to be days when it isn't easy. But I am determined as hell to keep fighting as long as my body allows! Can you believe this gal will be turning 47?!?

OOPS! I mean...27 Heeheeheeheehee!

Once we got home from getting a good sweat. It was time to get crackin on the living room and kitchen! We still have quite a few final touches. Our goal is to finish both rooms up by this weekend. Although it could go into early next week. Just depends on if we run into any additional little hidden gems. As of this evening. The fireplace is now officially finished! YAYYYYY! We both think it really turned out amazing! Make that...quite a few friends that we sent a text photo to that gave their high approvals! A job well finished! Some feel that maybe I have another new hidden talent that has surfaced from this entire house flipping project. No thanks though...one house flip has been plenty! Heeheeheeheehee!

By the end of fall. We should be ready to work on few other new projects. Eric has another lawsuit to file with regards to this house. It's an unfortunate situation with a major bank screw-up on their end. Nothing against Eric. But he has to file with the courts instead. As for myself? I plan on making good with my temporary work permit blessing. I am doing everything within my power to successfully jump over this latest medical hurdle. Then it will hopefully allow for a clear road of opportunity ahead of me! Possibly...permanently. Financially...it will help out our entire little family. I also want to be able to cut two checks if god willing! One to those whom were kind enough to help with medical expenses. The other to the sibling who threw a one-time GP benefit back in my face time and time again. I haven't forgotten nor will I ever forget. Having the opportunity to throw a check back to that sibling for not having their heart where there wallet is instead will be beyond gratifying! Personally...it has been a dream of mine to dip my feet into starting two separate online businesses. Sure, it's a quite bold and very gutsy move with medical odds stacked against me. But look so far what I have accomplished with this blog and the Gastroparesis Awareness Campaign website! Both were started on a blank slate. A blank webpage. All created, designed and marketed by little ole me. Look how far they both have come from just a little idea in the making! I plan on taking everything I have learned over the years and apply it towards two separate businesses. Running them both from home. With a little help behind the scenes...

Shark Tank anyone? Yep! Just wait till you see what's ahead!

*HINTHINT*

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: September 23, 2017 7:04 AM EDT
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September 21, 2017
Looking Forward To Some Warm...Desert...Sand :)
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 2817-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

This would be a great week and upcoming weekend to stay indoors!

92+ degrees for the next several days...UGGGG..

d-r-a-i-n-i-n-g

I can't believe that we are starting off the first day of fall with tank tops, shorts and flip-flops?. Forget the big, comfy, clothes! Looks like it's back to the summer attire...again. Even Dairy Queen down the road from us decided to stay open another week. Why not?! With the hot, humid temperatures here to stay, at least another week. Who wouldn't keep their ice cream stand open to profit from some cold, tasty treats!

Even our window contractor was hoping for a much cooler day to install some new screens. But instead of me assisting him. Eric had to help him after receiving an unexpected phone call. Yep...I never, EVER answer the phone if I don't recognize the number. However...we were anticipating my specialists call back in Ohio which was suppose to be after their last appointment of the day. Boy! OH BOY! Was answering the phone to an unrecognizable number a big mistake!

NAH!

More like...A HUGE mistake! HA!

Yep, this is pretty much us. After first of all not being able to hear the person on other line. Then secondly getting disconnected by the person on the line more than a few times. Then hearing a constant...BEEP.BEEP. Please remember, it's against the law to tape record someone without their knowledge. We only say this because clearly the call was beyond a bit sketchy. It absolutely made no sense. Let's just say as myself and Eric both agree...there must be a puppet master somewhere among immediate family. An individual who dictates who and when to orchestrate a family member to contact us out of the blue. Usually from either a private number or like today...a number not recognizable to myself or Eric. Let's also say that it usually never ends on a good note of any sort. In fact. The ridiculous phone calls of irrational, poor, condescending, heartless behavior from those on the other end of the phone doesn't end very pleasantly. In fact. I have lost track of how many times I have been hung up on by immediate family members because they can't handle the truth. Trying to speak some logic into those who either put the phone down while you are trying to talk, yet alone, communicate is one rude fact. Then there are those...like today...who literally can't handle the truth and just instead hang up the phone on you time and time again.

Why bother contacting us if you can't be a mature, articulate adult enough to handle a full conversation. Better yet...here on out if anyone in the immediate family wants to talk to us. It will only be allowed at a table for all. Because everyone has a chair at the table to explain themselves and their rude, cold, heartless, bully mentality ways they have treated other family members. Please, don't mistake our kindness for picking up the phone or text messages as another way to feel you are going to walk all over us. Time and time and time again. We have had our limit. It won't continue happening over and over and over again. 6 years is far too long. We regret not slamming doors shut for good, valid, justifiable reasons many times over again. And who could really blame us when once again another immature, condescending, rude-as-hell phone call is taken from another immediate family member. Again.

Honestly...I had to chuckle. Yet in reality. We are still shaking our head. Because who calls their only Aunt on their Mother's side to let them know that they called because they were told to call. Due to their Grandmother being upset. Why? Because they need to tell us that myself, Eric and our stepson are not invited to their wedding. Ummmm...Boo bear...Sherlock Holmes kinda figure that out...like...two bridal showers ago. Maybe even graduations ago...baby showers ago...births of children ago....holidays ago...family dinners, birthdays, other weddings and the list goes on and on and on. If your intent was to throw another sword in our back. Your Aunt, your Uncle and a stepson you refuse to even meet. It didn't work. You see...when you are adult enough. Mature enough and have enough love and self respect enough. You wouldn't had to make a phone call in the first place. An invitation would had shown us where your heart is instead.Your phone call which you should had not even bothered since you stated you as well did not invite even your own fiancés Aunt. Reason? Because that Aunt and their Sister do not talk. Remember the ole saying? Be an adult, smile and suck it up buttercup! It's called being the bigger person. Sounds like another dysfunctional family problem. Mind you...I am sure that Aunt is as well tickled pink and mighty proud of their nephew and his fiancé for not being invited to their wedding... So why bother to had called us? Do yourself a favor. Don't bother. Especially when you didn't want to call in the first place. Another orchestrated phone call from someone dictating it behind the scenes. This isn't the first time this has happened. But we will make sure this will never, ever happen again.

I am sorry to some if we sound brash, harsh or even a wee bit rude. But enough is enough. We are entitled to our feelings. We are also entitled to our opinions. We even have an immediate family member who states that it is perfectly fine to talk about us and our son in a group setting. As they said, "As long as it's not online." Ummmm...you don't talk about your adult children in the first place. A parents roll and responsibility is to love their child or children...unconditionally. Talking poorly about your adult child only causes mistrust and destroys any type of relationship. It should never happen. If you need to do so, how about not using names instead.

For any niece to contact us. To let us know that they decided not to invite their Aunt, Uncle and their son to an important life time event. Their own wedding. Speaks VOLUMES about not just that niece, but the rest of the entire immediate family. It also speaks volumes about any grandparent that puts the grandchild up to calling us which is their own daughter, son-in-law and grandchild. So they can let them know they aren't invited to their wedding? Who does such a rude thing?!?. We found out today. The stranger on the other line. A niece.

Boo bear...Why bother?.

You see...there really is a silver lining in every misfortunate thing in life. That phone call was really a blessing. Because myself and Eric have truly got to see how cold, rude and cowardly immediate family can really be when it comes down to it. Who looks really cold, heartless and ridiculous is when those who get married do not invite their own immediate family. Then immediate family members are seen by many others laughing, smiling and taking more pictures for the camera. Making it known to everyone that those nothing absent family members means nothing to them. Blind to reality of those who are missing. Treating us like we are dead already is the epitome of what isn't family. No one would put up with that kind of rudeness from a stranger nor any type of friend. Whether alone put up with it from immediate family. We think not. For a niece to tell us on the phone that they did so because..." I haven't spoken to you." Sorry, but that is a lousy excuse. Try again. For anyone to think this kind of behavior is okay. Needs to think again.. Hey Boo bear...it takes calling us to speak to us. But when you are too busy calling us crazy to many back across state lines in group, social and family settings. Maybe you should had instead taken that time to extend a chair to sit down and work out issues as a family. But that takes being an adult and not being a coward. It takes facing your problems head on. Instead of running and hiding. You can open a million businesses, run a trillion miles, take a million trips. But you can't out-run your problems. And we all have a conscious inside us...somewhere. In time, that too will most definitely catch up with you. So when you treat others as less of humans. When they should be treated as family members. Think with your heart first. Instead of the ego in your head.

This is what happens when others have far too big of an ego. It takes a real adult to sit down as a big adult. At a table with a chair for all immediate family. To sit down, work through problems and issues as an adult. As a family. Myself and Eric have extended that offer out to immediate family far too many times, that has only, once again, fell on deaf ears. Their excuse, once again; "We are too busy." Yea....r-i-g-h-t... Even text messages to immediate family fell once again on frozen hands and deaf ears. One grows tired of trying to have a civil, adult round table discussion to work through family drama, family problems and the far more serious issues and matters at hand.

As we continue moving forward in our life. HAPPILY. Because we most definitely deserve it. AMEN. We have far more important matters for us to address at hand. As a change of address in less than 6 months. Nevada and the final stretch of this long moving process. There awaits for us a new adventure and friends who will be helping us with our final transition. A new home. A new life. Who has time for today's drama?.

Not myself. Not Eric. Not the warm desert sand.

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: September 23, 2017 5:59 AM EDT
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September 20, 2017
WONDER WOMAN & SUPERMAN! :)
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Day 2816-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

This blog was going to be about a phone call I received this evening. That went into another wild, questionable ride. But...it has no place in today's blog. Because today was all about celebrating! A celebration of many sorts! What happens when Wonder Woman & Superman achieve the unthinkable!

To most...

The IMPOSSIBLE!

There is a lot going on behind the scenes in our life that had to be put under wraps. Some...for legal reasons. Others...for personal reasons.

Today was the ending, yet the beginning. A lot of mystery wrapped up for the taking! Medically, this morning I finally received a few phone calls and emails regarding last weeks hospital testing and procedure. Pending labs and other factors that finally allowed for myself and my team of doctors to understand the next chapter of my journey. I had been dealing with new symptoms as of early May, this year. However, it had taken months to finally be diagnosed with connected complications from what could never be defied during last years oncology treatments and radiation therapy. When treatments fail. You can expect things to progress. It was always anticipated.

I don't know how many times I had reiterated to distant family that I can no longer allow for any stressful situations. That includes...emotionally. The problem is...they didn't care nor want to listen as the feuds progressed and sometimes...quite aggressively. I am not sure why they did not take myself or Eric seriously nor respectfully. There is a great reason why I will only consider reconciliation with immediate family as a round table meeting. Family is plural. Everyone, not just one member of the immediate family. Because everyone has a place at the table. Being adult means owning up to your own actions. It can't always be just myself and Eric wanting to finally come to some sort of resolution with the entire immediate family. But more of that to follow tomorrow. Today was an entirely different kind of day. 

A day to CELEBRATE! A day of closure. A LONG TIME in the making!

Since being denied a temporary work permit, time and time again. I had decided to build my own case and present it to social security. I know there are avenues that I must cross and hurdles I must jump in front of me. Yet, somehow I always still believed. Where there is a WILL...there will be a WAY. Our medical bills and prescription drug costs are surmounting. Add that onto all of the out-of-pocket costs for home repairs. It's been downright financially CRAZY! Yet, we remained determined as ever to stay focused and not allow the stress to get the best of us. Today we both achieved major monumental success! Not just success in the making. But so much more for the taking! 

This afternoon, I received a final approval letter for a temporary work permit from social security, SSD. Of course, there are quite a few restrictions. I must first get current health issues stabilized and produce a letter from my lead specialist. Secondly, I am only permitted to work from home on a temporary work permit. After being denied the right to receive a temporary work permit so many times before with an attorney. I decided to tackle the huge feat on my own. First and foremost...being honest with what we are experiencing. Financially speaking. There is something to be said for being real with others. Most importantly...honest with yourself. Finally having the chance, if I can possibly and successfully get current health issues under control, to at least try working. Is something that I never thought I would ever have the chance to ever do again. At least...not in this lifetime. I know that the current hurdle with my health that I must jump will be quite challenging. But just look how far I have come! Anything is possible...if you believe in yourself...FIRST.

 I don't know how long, it could be a month or two before current medical issues can be stabilized to the best of my specialists ability. Over the years, this blog has not only been a blessing for me, emotionally. But it could as well become a blessing for me...for US...financially. Time will only time. More of that to follow.

This morning there was another great achievement in the making! This time...for Eric. There are not enough words to express how very proud I am of my husband. There are not enough words to express just how much hard work and far too many hours that he put into a massive lawsuit. Massive...because he represented...HIMSELF this morning. It wasn't just a lot of hard work and far too many hours over the past several+ months getting the case together. But as well he did so while still working full time with the Sheriff's department, along with doing whatever overtime was available for the taking. If that's not a true SUPERMAN...Eric also took on the roll of being not just my spouse. But my sole source of support during this years long medical journey. It wasn't family that was there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. It wasn't family that was there for me when I was far too sick and weak to get out of bed. It wasn't even family that was there to help CHEER me on through the final oncology treatments when all I wanted to do was give up and give in. It wasn't family who was there for me, even with less than 3 hours of sleep a day to survive on. It was Eric who has been there for me. My SUPERMAN.

They say that a strong couple can literally move mountains together. I say that a really strong couple can move more than mountains when their hearts are in the right place...together. Faith also goes hand in hand.

We both were given the heads-up with regards to my symptoms a little over 2 months ago. Due to my body no longer able to handle any kind of stress. It wasn't just the need to place healthy boundaries with family and hospital privacy. This mornings final hearing was to also include my testimony. But instead of two...Eric bravely became one. There is so much to be said for defying the odds. When those who believe you can't represent yourself as your own attorney. Stood face-to-face this morning with Eric. Representing himself as not only his own attorney. But believing enough in himself that, YES! you CAN! I am darn proud of Eric! He did it all on his own! Maybe with the help of myself through out the months. But it was US...together that helped to achieve so much more! Regardless who wins. It was never about the money. It's about human decency. It's about how we treat one another. In a real estate game and a contract about he said, she said. No one really comes out a winner in the court of law. But over this past year we truly have!

The ability to learn and in turn gain a lifetime of wisdom and knowledge is priceless! It truly is our reward for all the hard work and it's ours for the taking.

Who would had thought that US...Husband and wife...could go where most would never dare or even so much to dream ever before...

We have proved that together you can move mountains^^^

WONDER WOMAN & SUPERMAN

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: September 21, 2017 3:52 AM EDT
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September 19, 2017
Time To Catch Some Fresh Air! ;)
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Day 2815-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Fall is in the air! At least as of last week...we thought so.

It appears that Mother Nature has fooled us once again with another wave of summer heat and humidity here in the country. Thank goodness for the gentle breeze that flows off the river! Before the 90-degree temperatures come pay us another visit over the upcoming weekend. We decided to make today all about the great outdoors!

Time to catch some fresh air!

While Snoreo took on the task as feline babysitter. We decided to give ourselves a break from the living room repairing, repainting and redecorating project. A day or two to not only enjoy some fresh air, but to also catch up on quite a few outdoors projects still in the making!

Like...cleaning every single window, door and screen...YAYYYY for Eric!!! YAYYYYY for playing in the water and finally being able to utilize what used to be our RV brush! BAH!

I think Eric might had needed more so of a break from indoor projects since he really isn't much for cleaning windows. Especially screens. But when it appears that the windows, doors and screens haven't been cleaned in over a century. Eric was ALL about today's cleaning! Hahahahaha! Just seeing how much cleaner everything turned out made us both feel SO MUCH better! Clean screens make for cleaner air to breath indoors during this upcoming fall season. These screens were filthy! UGGGGG! Nothing that a good ole RV extension brush and a little bit of Ivory dish detergent can't handle!

WHALA!  CLEAN!

A clean house is a happy house! But doesn't that saying pretty much apply to everything?! Clean=HAPPY! Maybe that only applies to OCD clean freaks like....Me. Hahahahahaha! Since flipping our house, it seems Eric has also began living by that motto. Clean, neat and tidy! I guess than that makes for a happy wife=HAPPY life! Hahahahahaha! No water fights with the garden hose today. But I have a feeling come during this weekend's car washing day. The garden hose will be anyone's for the taking!

While we were playing cleaning games outdoors. Snoreo was busy playing babysitter for the kitty gang. What a good shepherd/husky that soon enough will have his own baby to babysit. A husky maybe?... Hmmmm... We will just have to wait and see!

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
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September 18, 2017
Turning Lemons Into SUPER SWEET LEMONADE! :)
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 2814-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Today's blog title seems very appropriate for not just today. But so far for the entire year!

Together...WE have come a very longgggg way!

2017 has been the year of transitions & transformations...turning lemons into SUPER SWEET LEMONADE!

Our current house flipping project, the living room, has been quite a nightmare! I anticipated this to be somewhat of a challenge. But it seems once again, I was sadly mistaken. Especially when it comes down to the timeframe on this massive feat in the making! Two weeks? Yea...r-i-g-h-t! It seems to be a project-within a project-on top of another project. Ha! The fireplace has been a project all on it's own since it can no longer be used. Trying to come up with an idea on how to close it off, on top of finding a creative do-it-yourself country-coastal theme fireplace cover has also been quite a challenge! I have been determined to stick with our overall theme through out the entire house. But since there seems to be nothing that works as far as online. I decided to make our own fireplace cover. Eric's job was to design something to safely close off the fireplace that can no longer be used. What we both have created separately could still work for next years potential buyers if they don't plan on putting additional money into having the fireplace liner repaired. As for us...we have put in enough time, money and energy. Along with far too many claims with our home warranty company. I have a feeling that someday soon. Around this time next year. The new homeowners might possibly have a fully functioning fireplace for the winter.

In the meantime....we are loving the almost completed huge fireplace project!

The enclosure behind this really beautiful fireplace cover was done by Eric. As far as this homemade fireplace door...why of course! By little ole me! It already blends in perfectly! LOVE IT!!

We still have another project that I began a little over a week ago which will also go along with the new fireplace enclosure. What we thought would also be a simple project. Is turning out to be a two-week project in the making! Between taking an old fireplace screen and literally cutting the sharp edged screen out. We also had to sand blast the old paint and redo the entire screen along with quite a few repairs. I have really enjoyed refurbishing old antiques. Without stripping too much of it's history. This old wrought iron fireplace screen is going to turn out to be one heck of a beauty!

I used to look at our lemon of a gem home that we purchased almost a year ago as a burden. But now I see this lemon of a gem as a huge blessing! A true diamond in the rough! The time spent together has only made our connection and love for one another so much stronger. Flipping a house that needed beyond a little love has also made us far more humble. As we continue appreciating the far simpler things in life so much more! I never wanted a cookie-cutter house in a cookie-cutter neighborhood. But then again...I never expected to literally be flipping a house from the inside-out. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. What we have endured over the past year has been quite a challenge! One hell of a feat within itself! But all good things come to those who wait. Those who also appreciate and truly respect life for what it is and all of it's glory. The bad times only made us stronger!

Turning lemons into SUPER SWEET LEMONADE!

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: September 21, 2017 1:39 AM EDT
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September 17, 2017
Regardless...The House~Flip Must Carry On!
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 2813-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

As suspected...labs have now made their way out of state. The same ole song and dance of what's to come. Facing the unknown.

Regardless of how I feel. Our house~flipping project must carry on! Since I am down for the count. Eric has been taking over our next big project. Repairing, repainting and remodeling the living room. Since we had to push back our listing date to early spring 2018. Days when we have other important matters to attend to...we at least have the time now to take a break. This house has been far from any sort of easy flip! The hidden lemon gems are still surfacing. And so is having to redo really shoddy repair work. At least now we can laugh about the next gem that awaits to be uncovered. Who knows what the winter season will bring as far as any shifting or moving foundation settlement. But at least now we have a far better understanding of what happened prior to this house that we bought a little under a year ago. A place that for now we call...home. Thanks to neighbors who let us in on other important, yet pertinent information about the history of our house here in the country. Now...it all makes sense. Perfect sense!

As for next year... 2018 looks very, VERY promising! We like to call it, "The year of Nevada!"

We plan on not only selling this home after our major~flip. But also finally coming to realization with our far bigger dream. Moving out west. The time couldn't had come any better! There are other huge changes over the horizon not just for Eric. But as well for myself. So many chances for a change for the better! There has yet to be something that we said we were going to do and literally did not do. Some things, like this final move, just had to take some extra time. Everything has to line up at the right place and at the right time. It may have taken longer than we ever could had anticipated. But life happens and so do unfortunate situations. You can certainly bet that when we finally arrive at our new home in Nevada come next year, 2018. We will be far more appreciative for it! Amen.

Our home has come a very long way and with a lot of hard work put into it! Just like a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. All it needed was a little l-o-v-e~

Okay....maybe a WHOLE heck of a LOT of love!

Heeheeheehee!


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
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September 16, 2017
Rejection Day...Literally.
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: Day 2812-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

There will be days like this...always days like this...

A super cute and cuddly little guy must had sure missed his human momma! This is what the past few days have looked like while resting and recovering. Heeheeheehee! Too darn cute! Mr. Big LOVE is here to stay and most definitely lets it be known! Who needs an extra blanket when you have a smiling kitty laying across your entire body. Heeheeheeheehee! Mr. Big LOVE has brought so much love, joy and lots of laughter into our lives. A little piece of my heart has once again been filled.

Today hasn't been the easiest kind of day. Unfortunately, all signs began to surface with regards to physical rejection. We were told that it is very possible that what has been done might be rejected by your body. Medication that should had also worked may as well show signs within a few days of being rejected. Let's face it. Today was 'rejection day.' Literally.

I wasn't feeling my best today. Yet, I did my best to remain calm. Keeping my inner peace. Some days have been more difficult than others. Especially when myself and Eric have no idea what the next move will be with my specialists. There is a fine-tuned game plan in action. But days like today sure don't make that game plan look very promising. Explaining another unfortunate set of medical circumstances gets about as old as hearing about it from my team of specialists. It's crazy to think that once again, I have been handed something else to deal with. Another connected issue. As clearly we were told at the hospital, "Your body is attacking itself." What is to blame for everything and where did it start...as a baby. So many decades ago...

Having to take life sustaining medication every day, for the rest of your life sure doesn't seem very promising. Every 4 hours sounds exhausting. And the side effects look frightening. Yet the signs continue to surface of another wall I have yet to face. Some days, like today. That wall looks more like a huge mountain in front of me. Sure, this too shall pass. But just not as easily and with a lifetime of more hurdles and brick walls I must face. It's bad enough for myself and Eric. Watching my body already reject everything. Then of course...you get a text message from a mutual friend of the distant family.

"Why didn't your niece invite you to her bridal shower when your sister and your mom were there?"

Yep...Let's add on another rejection for rejection day!

I guess it was a blessing in disguise. Because I actually got a moment or two forgetting about the far more serious matters at hand with my health. Instead I could sift through what was sent to me of pictures of what used to be family members all celebrating another nieces wedding. The difference once again with those pictures that look confusing to others. Is that I wasn't there. "How can your nieces, mother and your own sibling be smiling with the situation at hand? How can they be okay with not inviting their own sibling, aunt and daughter? How can your mom just stand there smiling like nothing is wrong?" I guess you can say this mutual friend is asking the wrong person. But the photos were enlightening. It shows me that people can move on and live their life without you in it. And for our decision to pick up the pieces and move on? You get the picture. Literally.

I anticipate a long week ahead for myself and Eric. There is a lot pending from pathology and other labs that were sent out of state. But you know what? Regardless of what I am facing. This gal has come a long way! I am proud as hell for everything I have faced head-on! Physically and emotionally. Most would never had survived. Or even wanted to in the first place. But for me, it's ALL about how you play the cards you are handed

Yep...enough said.

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: September 18, 2017 1:47 AM EDT
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September 15, 2017
Angels Around Me *:)
Mood:  special
Now Playing: Day 2811-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

I debated whether or not to share this story. The reason being due to such a rare, yet amazing thing that happened to me while at the hospital yesterday morning.

Some may believe in angels. While others may not.

Yesterday morning there was an angel that must had been following me. In that quiet hospital corridor as the angel made its presence know behind me.

I had anticipated telling Eric about what had transpired while my assigned nurse helped me to the restroom. I was honestly very nervous and anxious for what was ahead of me while they prepped me in the room. I didn't just ask to use the restroom once, prior to beginning the final test and then a very long surgical procedure. But even a mere second before the big silver tray was brought in with far too many scary needles and other medical instruments to mention. Maybe it was the sheer nervousness from watching another patient go under distress as a frantic mother yelled out for assistance for her daughter. Maybe it was watching those who were very ill, yet still holding on to a mere glimmer of hope while smiling. It was all very overwhelming. But somehow I still was able to find my peaceful place...within.

After already saying my prayers before leaving the house. While on the way to the hospital. Upon waiting to be brought back by the surgical staff. Even during the first trip to the bathroom before the scary stuff began. I once again asked my nurse if it was okay to once again use the restroom. She did chuckle a bit, but completely understood that maybe I was getting a bit nervous. Although, honestly I just wanted to make sure that my bladder was empty. Funny, but true! HA!

It was during that time when my nurse helped guide me through the quiet hallway that another nurse sitting at the main surgical station desk pulled my nurse to the side. As I continued my way to the restroom door. I overheard the nurse sitting behind the desk ask my nurse, "Did you just see that?" As I had my hand on the bathroom door handle. I then heard her whisper, "It looked like an angel behind your patient. Following right behind her." I was completely coherent and had yet to receive any medication. I knew exactly what I heard which would be later verified once again by a kind gesture by those same nurses before we were released from the hospital. Once I came out of the restroom. My nurse and the other nurse behind the desk asked if I was ready as both smiled from ear to ear. I played it off as if I didn't overhear them. But trust me by saying, I overheard everything.

That overwhelming sense of peace remained with me during the entire time while at the hospital. I remained calm during even the most stressful moments. When even the nurse and surgical staff weren't so sure what to expect as far as reactions. Will my body reject everything? Will I go under cardiac distress? Will my body be able to handle everything?

It seemed as if the angels were with me. One particular angel that made her presence known. While keeping a close watch behind me.

Once I could finally open my eyes long enough to talk to Eric. I decided to wait until later to explain what had happened. But instead the story unfolded on it's own. Before being released from the hospital. The nurse came up to myself and Eric. Looked at me and placed this into my hand. "You have been through so much. Please keep this close to your side. You have an angel with you at all times." We both were in complete awe, especially Eric. After I began to explain the story. Eric stopped me and said, "You don't need to say anymore. Just look at the angel on the stone you are holding."

The Serene Angel.

The same angel which is actually an angel urn that stands in my closet at home. A most beautiful glimmering angel. An angel that watches over me. This...I now know


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: September 18, 2017 12:57 AM EDT
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September 14, 2017
Peace Of Mind...HIPAA
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Day 2810-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

7AM

Time to get up, get dressed and bravely head out the door to the unknown. What lies await for us at the hospital. Back across state lines...Ohio.

It's taken a little over a month. 5 weeks to be exact. Today was the day. When everything finally lined up in place. Today was certainly the right time and the right day to finally face the inevitable wall in front of me.

I would be lying if I didn't say that we both were a bit nervous. Eric was more like...a LOT nervous! HA! As for this gal. I did a lot of out loud talking from the moment we stepped into our car. To the time we had to separate while the nurse walked me back through the hospital corridors. What seemed like a very long walk through a very quiet hallway since being the first scheduled patient of the day. It was a long morning. It was a longer afternoon. And of course...it was an even longer 48-hours before the fogginess in my brain slowly began to become a bit more tolerable.

So here I am. Once again back-tracking my blog~one post at a time. To what I hope will be far better days that lie ahead of me.

What we have learned during this long awaited morning. Was the peace of mind that comes with using HIPAA to it's fullest potential. Choosing to keep my personal information and status, while at the hospital...private. What we both don't need is any type of interference nor any sort of stress. Mentally, physically, emotionally. What I can tell you is how peaceful it felt knowing that we didn't have to face any sort of stress with those forcing their way into the hospital. Or forcing their inquiring minds into a very personal battle that I faced today. Some things...still need to remain private. I have boundaries that now remain in place and will continue being respected. And while this blog will carry onto it's new home within the next few months. There are distant family members that still remain no longer a part of our life. Therefore, some medical privacy has to remain in place. We both grew tired of being distant families social gathering gossip. Health issues that were made out to be some sort of joke and mockery. It sure isn't a joke. Here on out. Any further jokes or mockery will not be taken lightly.

Not only was using HIPAA to secure our privacy at the hospital the best decision we have ever made in order to protect my privacy. But it as well will remain in place during the next phase and further surgeries. I can not begin to express how much more relaxed I was not having to worry about any type of interference. It was the very first time that Eric could sit comfortably, next to me while I was recovering.

 Everything in life happens for a reason. It may have taken 5 weeks for my body to finally be ready. But I made it. There is a lot to be said for facing your biggest fears. There is also something to be said for loving and respecting yourself enough to place healthy boundaries. 

 


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: September 17, 2017 11:38 PM EDT
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September 13, 2017
Round 5.....READY!
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Day 2809-Next GP Chapter... Turning Lemons Into Lemonade :)

 

Why hello there my  lovelies!

Time to get my game face back on. Time to give my body some much needed rest. Physically and mentally.

Today was all about taking it easy. Clearing my mind for the fifth and final attempt at surgery. The very last test is right in front of me. A far too early morning drive back across state lines lies ahead of me...Ohio here we come again this week!

While prepping...I also like to prepare myself for anything goes when it comes to my health. Testing and surgeries seem to be like winning some sort of medical lottery for me. If only there was money involved. In my favor...HA!

While remnants of hurricane Irma come visit us over the next 24-hours. This gal will be taking it easy. Lots of rest and reflecting on what lies ahead of me. I have zero expectations. Although, I must admit...I remain pessimistic. Just in case things go completely rogue. Far from my team of specialists expectations. This morning I received information on an alternate game plan by my lead attending physician. Let's just say that I don't plan on going that route. So it's time to get ready! Time to get my game face back on!

There are always going to be times, through out your lifetime, when your back is against the wall. When you are faced with no other choice but to go through that wall. Facing adversity through your darkest fears. We all have a choice. The choice to give up and give in. Or the choice to keep fighting till the bitter end. The choice...is really ours for the taking.

Round 5.....READY!

Choice

/choise/

1. an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.

Remember my lovelies, you are NOT defined by your circumstances. You are NOT defined by others opinions. And you are NOT defined by your past.

Love yourself by showing others that it's OK to feel good about the whole being, flaws & all. Lighten up about the small things, even the big things in life aren't so big after all...

Live your best life NOW with the people that love you unconditionally. And make sure to reflect that love back into the world for all to see~

You ARE a beautiful and quite lovely being of light. And no matter what hurdles you face through out your life. Never, EVER give up the fight!


Posted by GastroparesisAwarenessCampaignOrg. at 12:01 AM EDT
Updated: September 14, 2017 4:54 AM EDT
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